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1. What bug is welcome in apartments? Ten-ants.
2. Where do ants eat? At a restaur-ant.
3. What is the biggest ant in the world? An eleph-ant.
4. What's even bigger than that?
A gi-ant!
5. What does an octopus wear in the winter?
A coat of arms.
6. What does a cat like to eat on a hot summer's day?
A mice cream cone.
7. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
8. Where is the best place to park a dog?
In a barking lot.
9. Why did the Turtle cross the road?
To go the the "Shell".
10. What's the hottest letter in the alphabet?
'B', because it makes oil...Boil!
11. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
12. How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room!
13. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
14. Which fish is the most valuable?
A gold-fish.
15. If fish lived on land, in which country would they live?
Finland.
16. What do monsters make with cars?
Traffic Jam
17. What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
Mumbo Jumbo
18. Why did the pony cough?
He was a little hoarse!
19. What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
Spatula!
20. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with!
21. What do parrots eat?
Polyfilla!
22. What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment!
23. What bird tastes just like butter?
A stork!
24. What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
A peeping tom!
25. Why is the desert lion everyone's favorite at Christmas?
Because he has sandy claws!
26. What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!
27. Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?
Cats can't drive!
28. What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
dingo-ling!
29. What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A bud hound!
30. Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
31. What fish only shines at night?
Starfish
32. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
a FSH!
33. What do sardines call submarines?
Cans of people!
34. How do fish go into business?
By starting out on a small scale
35. What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?..
A hermit crab!
36. What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?.
Jellyfish!
37. Why are fish easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales!
38. Where do you weigh whales?
At a whale-weigh station
39. Where do shellfish go to borrow money ?
To the prawn broker !
40. What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ?
The Codfather !
41. How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?
He prawned everything !
42. Which fish can perform operations ?
A Sturgeon !
43. What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys ?
He got lockjaw !
44. Where do fish wash ?
In a river basin !
45. Why did the whale cross the road ?
To get to the other tide !
46. Where do little fishes go every morning ?
To plaice school !
47. What fish goes up the river at 100mph ?
A motor pike !
48. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark ?
As far away as possible !
49. What did the sardine call the submarine ?
A can of people !
50. What's the difference between a fish and a piano ?
You can't tuna fish !
51. Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !
52. What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ?
A beer-a-cuda !
53. Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean ?
Billy the Squid !
54. What's the coldest fish in the sea ?
A blue whale !
55. Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ?
On squid row !
56. What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ?
Monkfish !
57. What kind of fish will help you hear better ?
A herring aid !
58. Which fish go to heaven when they die ?
Angelfish !
59. What bit of fish doesn't make sense ?
The piece of cod that passeth all understanding !
60. What kind of money do fishermen make ?
Net profits !
61. What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand ?
Birdsthigh fish fingers !
62. What kind of noise annoys an oyster ?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster ! (Try saying that fast!)
63. What do naked fish play with ?
Bare-a-cudas !
64. What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon ?
An electric shark !
65. What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ?
Whale of fortune !
66. Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ?
Because they have electric 'eels !
67. Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !
68. Why are gold fish orange ?
The water makes them rusty !
69. Who held the baby octopus to ransome ?
Squidnappers !
69. What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?
Tsardines !
70. How do the fish get to school ?
By octobus !
71. Why did the lobster blush ?
Because the sea weed !
72. What part of a fish weighs the most ?
It's scales !
73. What fish do road-menders use ?
Pneumatic krill !
74. What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ?
A fish tank !
75. Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?
Jack the kipper !
76. What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ?
'Your plaice or mine' !
77. Where does seaweed look for a job ?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds !
78. What happens when sharks take their clothes off ?
They go sharkers !
79. 1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'
80. What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather ?
Skate !
81. What is the best way to communicate with a fish ?
Drop it a line !
82. What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ?
A seahorse !
83. Where are most fish found ?
Between the head and the tail !
84. What do fish sing to each other ?
Salmon-chanted evening !
85. How does an octopus go to war ?
Well-armed !
86. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus ?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand !
87. What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ?
A flat fish !
88. What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head?
Mandy Lifeboats!
89. What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
Beatrix Potter!
90. What do you call a lion with toothache?
Rory!
91. What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?
Laurie!
92. What kind of illness does Bruce Lee get?
Kung Flu!
93. What do you call a Rodent that has a sword?
A Mouseketeer!
94. What do you call the bad lion tamer?
Claude Bottom
95. Which bell can fly?
Tinkerbell
96. David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
David
97. What has a mouth but doesn't eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn't sleep, and waves but has no hands?
a river.
98. If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where's the white house?
Washington DC
99. What is heavier, a full moon or a half moon?
The full moon because it's lighter!
100. What town in England makes terrible sandwiches?
Oldham!
101. What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!
102. What do you take before every meal?
A "seat"!!
(by Onisha, age 9)
103. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. (by Serene Aria Holder, age 5)
104. What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly
It barked with de-light!
105. Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it's too far to walk!
106. There are 5 cats on a couch.
One jumped off.
How many were left? NONE, they were all copy cats!
(From LEVI)
107. What is a baby's motto If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!
108. What must you do before you get board a bus ? Get on it! (From Linajen - a huge fan!)
108. what sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch
109. what did one fish say to the other? if you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
110. what is the longest word in the dictionary?
the word smiles because there is a mile between each s.
111. who earns a living driving their customers away?
a taxi driver.
112. What color is a burp?
Burple!!
113. What did the dog yell when it saw the pieces of a fallen tree ?
Bark! Bark!
114. What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
That's the end of me...
115. What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
Mississippi River
116. Where do the pianists go for vacation?
Florida Keys
117. I don't have lungs or a chest but I need air; I am not alive, but I
grow; I don't have a mouth and I'm allergic to water.
What am I ?
Fire
118. What do you call a cow with no feet
GROUND BEEF
119. What is the most religious insect?
A mosque-ito!
120. What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Skin-diving!
121. What button won't you find in a tailor's shop?
A Belly button!
122. Do you know the time?
No, we haven't met yet!
123. What did the volcano say to the other volcano?
Stop erupting me.
124. When is a door sweet and tasty??
When its jammed!!!
125. What's brown and sticky?
A Stick
126. What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!
127. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
128. What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The Food!
129. What kind of plates do they use on Venus?
Flying saucers!
130. Why did nose not want to go to school?
He was tired of getting picked on!
131. How do you get straight A's?
By using a ruler!
132. What did the pen say to the pencil?
"So, what's your point!"
133. Why did the kid study in the airplane?
Because he wanted a higher education!
134. How did the music teacher get locked in the classroom?
His keys were inside the piano!
135. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
136. What did you learn in school today?
"Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!"
137. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!
138. What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams!
139. When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
140. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point!
141. How does the barber cut the moon's hair?
E-clipse it!
142. What happened when the wheel was invented?
It caused a revolution!
143. Why don't chickens like people?
They beat eggs!
144. Why did the rooster run away?
He was chicken!
145. What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs!
146. What goes up and down but does not move?
Stairs
157. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
147. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
148. Where does superman get the kind of food he needs to make him strong?
At the supermarket!
149. When does the letter Z come before the letter A?
In the word "ZebrA"!
150. How did the frog cross the road?
He tied himself to the chicken.
151. If a plane was going to America and it crashed on the Canadian border,
where would they bury the survivors?
Nowhere, because they don't bury survivors, they only bury dead people.
152. What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor!
153. What kind of building has the most stories?
The library!
154. What do u get when you cross a cow and a goat?
A coat!
155. What is the difference between a bird and fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!
156. why are anteaters and aardvarks so healthy?
they are full of anty-bodies!
157. Why are four legged animals so bad at dancing?
Because they have two left feet.
158. What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks
159. How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch.
160. Alec: When i grow up i want to be a millionaire. I'll own a big mansion without any bathrooms !
John : Why no bathrooms ?
Alec:Because i want to be filthy rich !
Friend: I can lie in bed and watch the sun rise.
Alec: So what ? I can sit on a chair and watch the kitchen sink !
161. Why did the butter close its eyes in the refrigerator?
It did not want to see the salad dressing.
162. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite!
163. What did the man who lost his left side say?
Im all right now!
164. What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.
165. Why was 6 scared?
Because 7 8 9.
166. What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
I find you very attractive.
167. How do you stop your dog from digging up your garden?
Take away his spade!
168. What's big, grey and goes round and round?
An elephant stuck in a revolving door.
169. How do you stop a dog from smelling?
Block his nose.
170. What is fastest, hot or cold?
Hot, you can catch a cold.
171. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?
The meat ball!
172. What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge.
173. What kind of bow can't be tied?
A rainbow.
174. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quattro sinko.
175. How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
176. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
177. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!
178. What do you get a man who had everything?
A burglar alarm!
179. What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill!
180. Where should a 500 pound alien go?
On a diet
181. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
182. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog!
183. What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A box of quackers!
184. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
185. What did Mars say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime.
186. How does the barber cut the moon's hair?
E-clipse it!
187. What is gray and blue and very big?
An elephant holding it's breath!
188. What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!
189. What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?
Mice Krispies!
200. What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
201. What is a mouse's favorite record?
'Please cheese me'!
202. What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
203. Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
204. What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
Cross mouse cards!
205. What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?
Getting it to fit over a bucket!
206. What do mice do when they're at home?
Mousework!
207. What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Crispies
208. What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
209. Why is Cinderella so bad at sports?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach, and she runs away from the ball.
210. Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
211. What's the last thing you take off, before you go to bed?
Your feet off the floor!
212. Why did the jelly baby go to school?
Because he really wanted to be a smartie.
213. Where can you learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
214. Did you hear about the daft hitchhiker?
He left early to avoid the traffic
215. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A dog can have fleas but a flea can't have dogs.
216. What time do ducks get up? At the quack of dawn.
217. What do you call a three-legged donkey?
A wonkey.
218. What's the silliest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear.
219. What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
A shampoodle !
220. What is the one word a dog can say ?
BARK
221. What is your dog's favourite city?
New Yorkie
222. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A Collie-Flower!
223. What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?
Stinkerbell
224. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!
225. What did the little light bulb say to it's Mum?
I wuv you watts and watts.
226. What do call a bear with no ears?
B!
227. What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
It becomes a sour puss!
228. What day do fish hate?
Fry-day.
229. When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you’re a mouse!
230. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
231. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie talkie!
232. What is a crocodiles favorite game
Snap
233. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
He gets toad away.
234. What did one flea say to the other flea?
Shall we walk or take the dog?
235. What is the strongest animal?
A snail. He carries his house on his back!
236. What do you call an elephant in a phone box?
Stuck!
237. What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
pop!
238. Where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam.
239. What kind of snake is good at math?
An adder.
240. What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!
241. How do you get an elephant down from a tree?
Put him on a leaf and wait until autumn!
242. What do you call Rodents that play Hockey?
'Rink Rats'
243. What do you get when you cross a Bear and Skunk?
'Winnie the Pehew'
244. What animal needs oil?
The mouse, because it squeaks.
245. Why can't a leopard hide?
Because he's always Spotted.
246. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
247. Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
She mislaid them.
248. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!
249. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
250. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
"Is that you mommy?"
251. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
252. What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
253. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
254. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
255. Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks.
256. What's brown and sticky?
stick.
257. What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
258. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
It let out a little wine!
259. What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
260. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
261.How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it!
262. What do you call a purple fish?
A purpish!!!
263. why do witches wear name tags?
so they know which one is wich.
from Jasmin, age 9, UK
264. Why did the banana went to the doctor
because it wasent filling well
from shareenaz, age 9, Malaysia
265. why did the golfer where 2 pair of underpants
just in case he got a hole in 1!
from Johnathon, age 7, Australia
266. What do you call a female bug?
A lady bug!
from Daniel, age 10, Honduras
267. What do skeletons say before a meal?
Bone appetite.
268. Where do very smart hot dogs end up?
On honor rolls.
269. What did the bee say to the flower?
Hi, honey.
270. What is Falling inlove?
"It is like a rock falling on you & you have to run to save your life." (Tony, 9)
271.What do you think your mom and dad in Common?
Both don't want any more kids.
Sofie, age 8
272. What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
Let's meet in the valley
273. What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a little flushed
274. Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
She was on a crash diet.
275. Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
276. What is the cannibals’ favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
277. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.
278. Who granted the fish's wish?
The Fairy Cod Mother.
279. What do you call a lamb attack ship?
A battlesheep!
280. What has four legs but can't walk?
A table!
281. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they are rich.
Ellen, age 7
282. What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.
283. What did 'Ronald McDonald' give 'Wendy' for their engagement?
He gave her and Onion Ring!
284.
If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all around you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne age 7)
285. Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Peas.
Peas who?
Peas open the door and let me in.
286. Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Mickey.
Mickey who?
Mickey is stuck in the lock.
287. How do you make a goldfish age?
Take out the "g"
288. What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!
289. What does a lion brush his mane with?
A catacomb!
290. What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!
291. Why do tomcats fight?
Because they like raising a stink!
292. Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
They are both ginger nuts!
293. What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A catameringue!
294. What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A Peking Tom!
295. What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A terrified postman!
296. When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage!
297. What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas!
298. Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!
299. Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog horn!
300. Where do you get frogs eggs?
At the spawn shop!
301. What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent!
302. Where do frogs keep their treasure?
In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!
303. What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!
304. What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!
305. What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!
306. What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!
307. Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean?
Billy the Squid!
308. Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
309. Where would you put an injured insect?
In an antbulance!
310. What has four wheels and flies?
A rubbish bin!
311. How do we know that insects are so clever?
Because they always know when your eating outside!
312. What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets
313. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo
314. What kind of animal is always found at baseball games?
The bat.
315. What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed
316. What do you get when you squeeze an olive?
Oliver twist!
317. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!
318. What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?
Polly Unsaturated
319. What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure
320. Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation
321. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers
322. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties
323. Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store
324. Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office
325. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?
A sucker
326. Where do most werewolves live?
Howllywood, California
327. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.
328. A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
329. What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
330. What is green and says I'm a frog a
Talking frog.
331. What is the best type of ship?
Friendship!
332. What do you give a cat for its birthday?
A catologue!!!
333. Which is the gate we can't enter.
Colgate
334. What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.
335. What are elephants that wears tiny glass slippers?
Cinderelephants.
336. What do you call a dear with no eyes?
Noeyedear
337. What did the tooth brush want to become when he grew older?
A broom.
338. What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.
339. Did you hear about the dog who went to a flea circus?'
'No, what happened?'
'He stole the show.'
340. A cannibal caught a missionary in the jungle. He said to him,
'What's the best way to eat you? Boiled or roasted?'
The missionary said, 'To tell you the truth, I'm a friar.'
341. My mum was in hospital, and the doctor said, 'Listen, I want you to drink a Guinness after your bath every day.'
My mum said, 'If I drink my bath I won't have room for a Guinness.'
342. Give me a sentence with the word "analyze" in it.
My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.
343. What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
344. My brother said, 'I want a job as a human cannonball.' I said, 'I'll bet you get fired.'
345. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer.
346.Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart
347.What runs around a cemetery but doesn't move?
A fence!
348. What do they teach at Witches school?
Spelling
349. What is a worm's favorite band?
Mud!
350. What is the maggot army called?
The Apple Corps!
351. Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs!
352. Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher!
353. How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?
it has a blue light!
354. When should you stop for a glow worm?
When he has a red light!
355. What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries?
A bramble bee!
356. What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver.
357. Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat..
358. Who chases computer criminals?
A hacker-tracker.
359. Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight.
360. Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.
361. Where do cool mice live?
In mousepads.
362. What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?
Where in earth have you been!
363. Why was the ketchup last in the race?
It couldn't ketch-up!
364. Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head!
365. What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
Close the door, I'm dressing!
366. What's the name of the little girl who went out saving wolves?
Little Green Riding Hood
367. Why did the tap dancer retire?
He kept falling in the sink
368. How does the biologist like to communicate?
With his cell phone!
369. What's got a trunk, lots of keys and four legs?
A piano up a tree
370. Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things
371. What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
372. What did the dinosaur say after the car crash ?
I'msosaurus
373. What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks ...?
A dinobore!
374. Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
That depends on how fast you carry it!
375. Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
Because they wouldn't take a bath !
376. What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?
A first-aid kit!
377. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
Dinomite
378. What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
Anything you want, it can't hear you!
379. What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
380. What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
Long distance!
381. Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
Any kind! A house can't jump!
382. How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
As fur as you can get!
383. Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
Because they don't know how to cook !
384. What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
Baby dinosaurs!
385. Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
To the dino-shore !
386. How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?
The door won't close!
387. What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear!
388. Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
It lives on ice!
389. Why shouldn't you take a bear to the zoo?
Because they'd rather go to the cinema!
390. How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go!
391. What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
Darn it!
392. What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?
It became a daddy short legs!
393. What's a bee-line?
The shortest distance between two buzz-stops!
394. Can bees fly in the rain?
Not without their little yellow jackets!
395. What does a bee get at McDonalds?
A humburger!
396. What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry?
An aero-drone!
397. Where do bees keep their money?
In a honey box!
398. What's a bees favorite novel?
The Great Gats-bee!
399. What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
Bee-hive yourself!
400. What do you call a bee born in May?
A maybe!
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